New Before Pics and Day One of MY Journey Begins!

I am so excited to begin MY journey today. I put that in all caps everytime to constantly remind me to own it. Own this journey. Own this plan. Own my motivation. This is MY journey this time.

I am currently 150 lbs. My goal is 130 lbs. I had Matt take new before pics for me. I am trying to focus on looking ahead to future gains, not on all I lost... So, posting these requires some bravery. I have to reject all the feelings of shame that I'm tempted to feel. It's not because I'm just ashamed of how I look. It's because I lost so much that I'd worked so hard for. So, please do not think that I think a 150 lb 5'4" woman is in terrible shape. No body shaming here, and that has to start with not body shaming myself. <3 Oh, I should take measurements too. I'll have to do that next time.

I lost my food scale. So, I'm just using measuring cups for now.

After the kids got home from school, and we picked up our new fish from a neighbor, we all piled in the van to meet Daddy at the YMCA. Boy, that childcare is a total game changer!

I didn't want to do my floor exercises in front of everyone at the gym. So, I hit all the leg machines they have. I did one set of 20 at a challenging weight. Then, did one more set of 20 at one level heavier. I also did 15 minutes on the good old stairstepper. I got 50 floors in. 

After the YMCA, we got Little Caesars for the kids since we were pressed for time. We dropped off the 3 that had a dance class. Then, Matt went to Applebee's to get us some salads (Grilled Chicken caesar). I took all the croutons off of mine and didn't use the dressing. It was so good!!

When we got home, I jumped down to the basement with Isaiah and did my floor exercises. Wow! good workout!! Give it a try! Just switch the sets and reps. They got those switched around!

So, here's my day in my notebook. As you can see, Selah got a hold of it. I was under my protein, and over my carbs and fats. Not too shabby for day one, though!!

Whew!! I worked hard today!!!

Patience with Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression is a real thing, and it really stinks. Basically, your emotions do not match your reality. You feel sad when there is nothing to be sad about, or angry when there is nothing to be angry about. After 12 years of snowballing PPD symptoms, I finally gave in and saw my doctor. I started taking an antidepressant. One of my major goals is replacing my antidepressant with working out. I know it's possible because endorphins can fight depression. I have felt a lot better since I started taking medication for PPD, but I don't want to be on medication!!  I look forward to the time when I am past the risk window for PPD, and I can wean off the medication, but I am not there yet, and that is really discouraging to me.

So, I need to give myself a pep talk. I'm just going to pretend I'm talking to someone else because it's so much easier to encourage other people, right? Yes, I realize this may make me sound like a crazy person, but hey! I'm already on an antidepressant. So, why not just go with it?  (Pssst... I am TERRIBLE at jokes. That was an attempt at making a joke.)

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Just 3 months ago, you couldn't even balance an empty barbell. You really strained to push that sled without any weight on it, and could hardly push it at all when he put a little weight on it. Your side planks were 6-10 seconds long. You could not do a plank on the stability ball. You gave your all when you put in 25 minutes on the stair stepper, and the elliptical was enough to kill you. Box jumps seemed like a pipe dream.

Today, you were squatting weight on the barbell (I'm not sure how much total) for about 30 minutes. You pushed that sled with no problem even when he added weight. Your side planks are now a full minute long. You CAN do a full minute plank on the stability ball. You put in 50 minutes on the stair stepper or elliptical, and you challenge yourself with speed and calorie burn. And, yesterday, you did 5 box jumps.  

3 months. Look what happened in 3 months. Give yourself a break. If this is PPD, you'll get off that medication, but you just need some more time. Keep at it, and imagine what you'll be able to do in another 3 months...

Quick Update With Pics

I have to go to bed because I'm getting up and going to the gym super early tomorrow, but I'm not tired yet. So, here's a little update while I hopefully get sleepy. 

Yesterday, I did my new home workout routine. It took me almost 3 hours, but next time, I'll pace it better so it doesn't take so long! When he says we're stepping it up, he's not kidding!! Holy cow! It was pretty fun, though. I love this new road I'm on, building and building on my progress. Here's some pictures with captions from yesterday's workout:

My sweaty face after doing a million and a half step ups

My Plie' squats were on point!! Pretty proud of them. :)

New weightlifting exercise! Stiff legged deadlift 20lb dumbbells

Side Plank. Look at my leg muscles!!! Yay!!

Multitasking: Breastfeeding while doing lying leg lifts. ;)

Selah held my finger while I finished my workout with "Superwomans"
It was very sweet.

Also, I totally forgot to blog about lifting the barbell a couple weeks ago! It was awesome. It made me feel weak, but strong at the same time. Here's some pictures from that day:

I was looking at my reflection, and thinking,
"Wow, I look so strong. I can't believe I am doing this!"

The faces I made in these crack me up. Super heavy for me,
but he wanted me to feel what heavy weight felt like. 
We will work up to this. I think it was 105 lbs total.

Okay, I really need to go to bed and get some sleep!! 6:45am training session tomorrow!! I will leave you with this video Matt made of me jumping today. This is significant because I thought I couldn't do it at all. Well, I guess I can.

True Gains

Having body builder friends has opened up a whole new world to me. Part of that is learning new phrases. The three I hear the most are: "Killing it!", "Crushing it!", and "Gains".  I didn't know what "gains" meant. I guessed it meant gaining muscle weight,  but I was wrong. "Gains" means any progress that gains ground on the way to reach your goals: losing weight, increasing endurance or strength, strengthening balance, etc.  It's actually a cool word to use.

Today was just one of those days that nothing seemed to go right. By evening, I was so stressed out. I had all this negative energy, and it was snapping out at my kids. Now, usually, I would've drown my stress in many pieces of chocolate sneaked out of sight of my kids. I would've eaten more and more until I started feeling sick. However, tonight was different. Even though I did succumb to a handful of chocolate chips in some almond butter, I did not make myself sick on sweets. Instead, I texted my mother in law and asked her if I could drop off the kids for a couple hours so I could go burn off some steam at the gym. She said she could! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!  So, I dropped them off and headed to the gym where I got on the elliptical and burned more calories than I've ever burned! That was so much better than getting sick on cookies or chocolates. 

One of those days...

I'm thankful for my bad day now because God used it to show me how I've gotten stronger in my spirit as well as in my body. That got me thinking about true gains. What I saw tonight in how I've grown stronger in stress management was a true gain. 

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" -Mark 8:36

A dear friend of mine has been strongly encouraging me in the direction of finding my comfort and strength in Christ alone, and not looking to any person to fill the void only He can fill. No praise or approval or physical "gains" can take the place of all we have in Christ. If I take this verse and read it how it's hitting my heart right now, it would say this:

465 calories!!!

"Sarah, what good is it if you reach all your physical goals, but lose sight of the things that are eternally valuable? What good is it if you teach your children to make healthy choices, but don't lead them to Jesus?"

I'm doing awesome physically. I'm losing weight. I'm getting stronger. My body is changing fast. Okay, all that is good! Be happy about that. Be proud of the work it has taken to get this far, but don't neglect your soul. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I read the Bible to strengthen my faith. We have missed so much church. My prayer life is lukewarm. How do I expect to get strong in my faith if I don't put in the work? That's like never working out and eating whatever I want, and expecting to be fit and strong physically. Think about that. It's absurd! 

So, I'm on track training my body, and I can see that it is having a good effect on my character, but I need training for my spirit, for my soul. I have Jesus, and I want to start living like it. I want to start pushing myself to true gains.

Sometimes, You Just Have To Prove It To Yourself

I went on the elliptical machine today and loved it. I burned more calories than I've ever burned! I love how I completely control my pace instead of having to keep up with it. I remember the first time I came in to the gym and tried the elliptical. I thought I was going to die after 15 minutes. Today, I went 3 miles in 45 minutes and burned over 400 calories!

I bought my ticket for the bodybuilding competition! I'm excited to support my sweet new friend, and at the same time, I am really nervous that I will see all the "perfect" bodies, and be really depressed about myself. So, I decided that I am going to train extra hard. If I know I've worked my butt off, I know I'll be a lot more confident. I started this journey to reach my goals, and I am determined to reach them. I was really encouraged today to see my gradual, yet huge progress over the last 8 weeks. It means so much to know that I am having success because I'm working hard and committed to following my nutrition plan. Sometimes, you just have to prove it to yourself. These photos are so encouraging to me. If you decide to get yourself in shape, do yourself a favor, and take pictures. Seeing your progress will be the fuel that keeps your spirit burning. 

The Little Mama That Could

1. My muscles are teeny. 2. Daisy works so hard!
3. First time successfully doing a plank with my feet on the
stability ball!! 4. 5 minute bridge! 

I've had a cold the last few days. Mucinex is how I am surviving. I haven't missed any workouts, though. Friday, Matt and I went to the gym and did some cardio. I did about 20 minutes on the stair stepper while Matt was on the treadmill next to me. Then, we went over to the bikes. It's crazy how much slower you burn calories on the bike compared to the stair stepper! It was nice having Matt with me. Saturday, I crushed my lower body routine at home! I doubled my reps for the squats, and I added 5 reps to all the other sets. I also did my core routine. So, yeah. I felt pretty awesome. Then on Sunday, I went to the gym, and spent 40 minutes on the stair stepper. I still wasn't feeling 100%. So, I didn't push myself to beat my record. Monday, I did upper body. I had to use lighter weights for some of the exercises. So, I felt a little wimpy, but it was because I am still sick. I don't feel too guilty.

My favorite meal:
rice, taco seasoned tilapia,romaine lettuce,
baby spinach, 1/2 avocado, and tomato slices
with lime squeezed all over it.

Today was a training day! Matt came with me. It was great. I forgot to get pictures of us! All legs. The leg press is fun. That's how I move furniture! Hey, my calves are getting defined, by the way!

I'm down 16 pounds since I started training 6 weeks ago!  That puts me 22 pounds away from my original goal, but since I'm weight training, that end goal will probably change due to muscle weight gain.

I'm working so hard, but my hemophilia gene is showing. the sides of my thighs, especially my left thigh, is all bruised up from the weights. I'm pretty sure that won't look nice in a swimsuit! Any hemo carriers reading this have tips on bruising less??

Progress Pics!!
First pics taken on April 8th.
Pink shirt pics taken today, May 17th.
In 6 weeks, I've lost 16lbs, and I've gone from large pants to medium!

Surprise!! The Kids are The Best Part.

I am amazed at how making my health and fitness a high priority is such a wonderful thing for my children. I honestly didn't realize how much they'd love this. I have 7 children, and they all support me 100%. They are excited that I am getting stronger. They love to hear when I beat my record on the stair stepper. Probably, the most important thing is that they like to jump in and exercise with me when they can.  Isaiah brought my weights and yoga mat upstairs today so I could workout while the kids were playing outside. Isaiah, my main coach, took a bunch of pictures.  Halfway through, they all came back in, and I had a room full of coaches, teammates, spectators, and cheerleaders.

Moms, we constantly feel guilty for choosing to take care of ourselves, but we are wrong. I am seeing the proof of this right now. When we put on our oxygen masks, our children can breathe easier.

Less importantly, I had a great weekend. Friday evening, I went to the gym. Since the stair stepper was taken, I improvised on the treadmill by getting it up to 8.0 incline. On Saturday afternoon, while my mother in law watched the kids, I went to the gym, and broke my record on the stair stepper: 123 floors, 50 minutes! Then, today was a home workout. So, I decided to do my lower body workout (in pics above). I was going to do core too, but it's late now (you know, for a mommy).  :)

Coffee and Cardio

108 floors!!! Take that, Powermill! I'm still just strolling up the stairs.
Someday, I'll be jogging up them like Rocky, but for now, I just try to beat my last record, and I did!

My Powermill record so far:

76 floors in 35 min

96 floors in 40 min

108 floors in 45 min

It must be my new favorite shirt and rainbow socks I wore today. :)

Also, I'm officially on my new nutrition plan. So far, it's going great! Along with my usual wonderful cup of coffee, I had eggs with broccoli and cheese; and steel cut oats with a little vanilla, nutmeg, and allspice for breakfast. A few hours later, I had chicken and sweet potato cooked up with cilantro, green onions, salt, cracked pepper, California style onion powder, and some tabasco sauce. After my workout, I had my protein shake mix over some frozen blueberries mixed together with some water and some fat free whipped cream. It was like melted ice cream. Really good! I'm supposed to have 3 more meals today, but it's already after 5:00! So, we'll see...
But, you know what? WE ARE OUT OF COFFEE. So, I better get to Mad Goat ASAP. . . after I take a shower and get out of these crazy socks!