Why Did I Hire a Personal Trainer, and Is It Really Worth It?

Investing in a personal trainer is not something I ever thought I would do. In the past, I've just tried to do a workout video a few times per week. I do well for the first week or two, then it ceases to be a high priority, not to mention all the little ones under my feet while I try to keep up with the video. This time, I decided that I needed someone to tell me what to do and keep me on track. Plus, going away from home to a gym gives me some free time. It's nice to get out sometimes and not have a van-load of kiddos with me. I know all you moms can relate to that! It gives me a scheduled time set aside to workout. My trainer is a huge support and encouragement, and it helps to have someone keep me accountable.


A lot of days, I have to stay home because Matt is either working or on call. On those days he sends me an at-home workout plan based on the equipment I have at home. I'm always doing something different. So, it never gets boring, and I feel like I'm working out more strategically. This is a financial investment for us as well which is a big motivator for me to make the most of it and work hard.  And, yes. It has been worth it for me. In birthie terms: He is my health and fitness doula. :)

Today was a home day for me. He sent me my workout plan, and it was all core exercises. Bridge is my favorite. I can hold that for 3 1/2 minutes. Honestly, it just feels good after planks! Planks with my feet on a stability ball (aka my red exercise ball) is insane! I hold it until I fall over after maybe 5 seconds. haha So, I decided to do more regular planks for now until I get stronger. Anyway, it was still a good workout, and my core feels worked. So, that tells me it went well.

This morning, my gym was so kind to do a member spotlight about me. As far as my husband is concerned, it may as well be a golden trophy or something! He's been bursting his buttons over it all day. I am no more special than anyone else at that gym, and it is an honor to have been chosen.

It's cool how your perspective changes as you get older. I never thought I'd feel comfortable in a gym, but every time I go, I feel more at home. Last time I was there, a lady who was working hard with her friend saw me pushing the sled, and said something like, "Keep working! You can do it!", and I said, "You too!" and gave her high five. It was cool to make a connection like that. So simple, but it makes the other people in there start to look like regular people. Thank you, sweet lady in the gym! I'll keep working hard!

Isaiah: Chin Up Master

Calisthenics with the big kids today. There is such a thing as too much fun because we were laughing and taking so long to get through the exercises the first time, I actually went through the whole thing again by myself. I'm definitely not a calisthenic pro, but I try. . . and my kids get a lot of laughs. ;)

Isaiah is the best at chin ups for sure! He can hold himself up for a long time. He loved showing off. So, I'm giving him the spotlight in this post.

Ana was so cute. She's my little dancer, and she looked like a pixie trying to do chin ups.

Then, there was me. Oh my. I cannot do a chin up. NOT ONE. So first, I pulled up a chair, and tried to make my legs dead weight on the chair while I pulled up on the bar. That was too easy. So, Isaiah showed me how he jumps to get up there. So, I thought I could jump up from the chair. That's what I can do at this point. Isaiah got some oh so flattering pictures of my attempts.

We did chin ups, sit ups, chair dips, jumping jacks, jump squats, planks, jumprope, crunches, burpees, and flutter kicks.

Selah was a big help the second time through! I don't have any pictures, but she was really sweet, and I just kept her close for most of the exercises.

Three meals down. Three to go! Matt just brought home some tilapia. I'm going to learn how to cook fish! :)

My Little Trainers

When I go to the gym, it's a mommy break for me. It's nice to get out of the house and do something for myself, and I am seeing more and more that this is a great benefit to my children. They are my most enthusiastic cheerleaders. More importantly, they are getting excited about their own fitness and health. None of my children have any kind of weight issues. So, I make sure to remind them that they are already the ideal size for their ages, and they should just make sure to get lots of fresh air and exercise through playing.

When I am at home doing my trainer prescribed home workout routines, it's a totally different story. I have at least one little trainer at all times, and a few spectators. The baby gets impatient, and I have to stop and nurse her sometimes. Other than that, she just sits in her bouncy chair or plays on a blanket. This past Monday, I let her in on the action, and she loved it.

The new weights Matt bought me were perfect. It was really challenging, but doable. My arms are getting stronger!! It's awesome. It also makes me constantly think of Proverbs 31:17 "She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong." I've been intimidated by this verse in the past, but now I'm pretty excited about it. I'm actually enjoying weight training and cardio, and today I get to start calisthenics. I'm not so sure those 20 chin ups are going to happen, but it will be entertaining for my little trainers!

The kids took some pictures of my Monday home workout. I hope they encourage other moms of littles not to see your children as a hindrance. It is helping me to just include them. The kids are having fun with it too. I told Isaiah that he can join in and do my calisthenics with me today! He'll probably beat me. ;)

Scandalous Motherhood and Another Part of The Oxygen Mask

This self care journey is very exciting, and just as I suspected, my whole family is benefitting from it.  I'm working hard on getting in shape and healthier, but yesterday morning, I realized something.

We moms especially get thrown on guilt trips about every decision we make. There is no winning. There is only rising above and disregarding these guilt trip invitations because no matter what we do, someone will be offended or think we are being selfish or lazy or whatever else. Moms can stay home with their children, or work all day and come home to take care of her family. Moms can breastfeed or bottle feed, and may I add to the breastfeeding: cover or not cover. Moms can homeschool, send her children to private school, or enroll them in their local public school. Moms can baby wear or use a carseat. Moms can use cloth diapers or disposable, pacifiers or no pacifiers, tv or no tv, organic or non organic, coupons or just look for sales. It doesn't matter what we do!!!! We will be criticized. We will offend. I'm starting to think that motherhood is a very scandalous career choice! Okay, I have to get back on track here...

I am not naturally a very neat person. I'm a "right now" person. I rarely think ahead. So, housekeeping is a struggle, but I LOVE when my house is clean. I feel like I have an invaluable tool at my disposal to serve my family very well. Everyone is happier. We can find things. We can eat well. We can stay on top of homeschooling. We can go places. We can have friends over. It's wonderful! BUT what do we moms hear about housecleaning? We hear that if we make housecleaning a high priority, we are choosing the house over our children. For me, this mindset has severely backfired. It's natural for me to choose the moment with my children. I am proud of that. I see the importance of the now. I see how housework needs to wait sometimes, and you need to play or read or take a walk or just listen to your children's thoughts. Yes. These things are very important. The thing is, though, the house is part of my oxygen mask too! I didn't look at it like that until yesterday morning. It was an "Ah ha!" or aka "Duh" moment for me. 

Too often, the house is messy. Honestly, the house is messy most of the time, and it is suffocating. I could say: "Hey, we have 9 people and a dog living here, of course the house is messy!", but that's just not going to cut it anymore. Just like I am refusing to accept those excuses for my body and energy level, I cannot accept these excuses for my home any longer, and I'm finally getting the energy I need to tackle it.  I have tried so many things to motivate my children to help out, but I think I've been a boss instead of a leader to them. 

My house is a major part of my oxygen mask, and while I still need to value "right now", I need to start investing a lot more in the invaluable tool of a clean house so I can serve my family well.  

Now, let's get that dishwasher and washing machine going and sweep this floor, shall we?

Coffee and Cardio

108 floors!!! Take that, Powermill! I'm still just strolling up the stairs.
Someday, I'll be jogging up them like Rocky, but for now, I just try to beat my last record, and I did!

My Powermill record so far:

76 floors in 35 min

96 floors in 40 min

108 floors in 45 min

It must be my new favorite shirt and rainbow socks I wore today. :)

Also, I'm officially on my new nutrition plan. So far, it's going great! Along with my usual wonderful cup of coffee, I had eggs with broccoli and cheese; and steel cut oats with a little vanilla, nutmeg, and allspice for breakfast. A few hours later, I had chicken and sweet potato cooked up with cilantro, green onions, salt, cracked pepper, California style onion powder, and some tabasco sauce. After my workout, I had my protein shake mix over some frozen blueberries mixed together with some water and some fat free whipped cream. It was like melted ice cream. Really good! I'm supposed to have 3 more meals today, but it's already after 5:00! So, we'll see...
But, you know what? WE ARE OUT OF COFFEE. So, I better get to Mad Goat ASAP. . . after I take a shower and get out of these crazy socks!

Stepping, Sledding, and Lessons from Labor

Sunday's on left; Friday's on right

Last night, my trainer told me to spend another 30 minutes on the stair stepper. Last time, I climbed 76 floors. So, I wanted to hit 80 this time. Matt told he he bet I could reach 100. Well, I didn't quite reach 100, but I got to 96! I had to add more time at the end to reach more floors. So, altogether, I stepped for 40 minutes. Next time, I'll set it for 35 minutes (then add time at the end) so I can get higher than 100 floors.

Here's my beet red face at
the end of the stair stepper
last night. haha

This morning was my 5th training session. It was nice to have his girlfriend there for the beginning part. She's very sweet and encouraging. We are moving up to the next level! Today, that meant THE SLED. The sled gets really challenging pretty fast for me. It will feel great to see myself get better and better at it. Then, he put 10lbs on the sled. Then, 20lbs.  Thank goodness I didn't have to turn that thing with 20lbs on it! That might not sound like a lot, but it is for me right now. I wish I had a picture of the sled to show you, but I don't. We also worked with those big ropes which is fun, but really challenging.

Anyone that knows me knows that sports and fitness aren't naturally my things. I am choosing to make it my thing because I want to be thin and strong and full of energy for my family for as much of the rest of my life as I can.

We all draw from our own life experiences. For me, it's always about childbirth and what I've learned from my labors. I have been able to have 7 completely natural births, 6 at home. So much of what pushes me through labor helps me while I'm working out. My sister in law actually says the same, but in reverse. Fitness has always been her thing. So, that helped her through her 4 natural childbirths. She said, "Labor is just like an intense workout."

When I'm starting to get tired and worn from a hard labor, these thoughts keep me going:
"The bigger the contraction, the closer you are to having that baby in your arms."
"Your body was made to do this."
"You can do this. It's for your baby."

Selah Joelle: the fruit of my 36 hour labor <3

There are many more, but these 3 particularly help me when I'm working out. Here's how they translate:
"The more you can feel it and push yourself through the pain, the closer you are to being that thin, strong, energetic mama that you want to be."
"Your body is getting stronger everyday, and is fully capable of doing this exercise."
"You can do this. It's for your family."

I feel like I have such a long way to go, but just like my most recent 36 hour labor, It's all going to be worth it.

Yeah, Those 20lb Dumbells Did Not Happen. . .

Because of my super hard working husband, I am limited as to how often I can go to the gym. So, my trainer gave me an at home plan which I shared in yesterday's post. As hard as I tried, I could not do chest presses with those 20lb weights. I could not push those things past my nose! So, I just pushed myself on reps with my 5lb weights.

Here's what I did on Wednesday:

-Dumbbell chest press on exercise ball: 5lb weights,  reps: 100, 40, 25, 20

-Dumbbell shoulder press on exercise ball: 5lb weights, reps: 25, 15, 10, 12

-Dumbbell overhead extension: 10lb weight (both 5lbs together), reps: 20, 10, 13, 12

-Dumbbell chest fly on exercise ball: 5lb weights, reps: 30, 12, 12, 10

-Single arm lateral raise: 5lb weights, reps each side: 25, 15, 15, 15

-Tricep kickbacks: 5lb weights, reps: 25, 25, 25, 25

-Planks with feet on chair:

22 sec with elbows on floor

16 sec with elbows on floor

30 sec with hands on floor

29 sec with hands on floor

-Side plank on yoga mat:

6 sec on right

13 sec on left

9 sec on right

6 sec on left

15 sec on right

12 sec on left

-Crunches on exercise ball: 100 reps

Not super impressive, but I'm just starting out, and I pushed myself until my arms were dead!  After work, Matt bought me some 10lb and 15lb weights.

Today was all about lower body. I did everything as it was written on the plan except with my new 15lb weights.

Here's what I did today (Thursday):

~Dumbbell squats: 15lb weights, 4 sets of 10 reps

~Dumbbell lunges: 15lb weights, 4 sets of 10 reps

~Dumbbell side lunges: 2 15lb weights, 4 sets of 15 reps

~Frog kicks: 3 sets of 30 sec (Yeah, these didn't go very well... lol)

~Flutter kicks: 3 sets of 30 sec

~Lying leg lifts: 3 sets of 30 sec

~Crunches on exercise ball: 50 reps

~Mountain climbers: 3 sets of 30 seconds

I am very thankful for Matt. He is a constant encouragement. It was very cool of him to go out and get me the right size weights I needed. I could not do this without him. This is a big investment for us, and he sees it as a worthy investment. That is a huge motivator for me.  He took some pictures of my workout yesterday. Then, Silas took some of Daisy and me which I love the most.  This right here is what it's all about.

A New Day

Yesterday was a battle. I stood up with Jesus against Satan's attacks. It was not easy, but I did it. Today is a new day, and I feel perfectly sore from my workout yesterday: proof I worked my butt off!! Despite my two year old currently having a fit because I won't let her have brown sugar on her coco dyno bites, I am so grateful for a good morning. My husband has some unexpected time home; physically, I can feel that yesterday's workout was successful; prophy is done for both bruiser boys; Eli and Kai got to school on time; Isaiah and Ana are working on school; and I'm really excited to get started on my home workout plan today!! I'm going to start using Matt's weights! Yikes!! Anyway, that's all I have this morning. I hope you are having a good morning too. Mornings where so many things are going right are rare, and I wanted to document it before it all starts unravelling. ;) 

Have a great day, and take care of YOU!!!

See? He's thrilled. :)

Fighting Satan at the Gym

I've been doing so well.  I'm working hard at the gym, being active with my kids at home with walking, eating healthy with few exceptions, drinking a lot more water, losing weight faster than expected, you get the idea.

However, none of that mattered when I got out of bed this morning. Here are the thoughts that were mercilessly attacking me:

"Ugh, you are so fat."

"You aren't working hard enough."

"You're just going to fail at this like you fail at everything else."

"You did something wrong because your target areas actually look bigger today."

If a person was saying those things to me, it would be called verbal/emotional abuse. That person would just be a total jerk, and I would need them out of my life. What do you do when these statements keep coming from your own head?!


You give credit where credit is due. Who is the  Prince of Lies? Who is my ultimate accuser? Who hates it that I'm getting stronger and healthier which is also making my spirit stronger? I know who. The worst evil this world has ever known. Satan. Satan hates me. He hates. He just hates.

Satan is the ultimate abusive relationship.

First, I took my medicine because who knows how much of that was my PPD creeping up. Next, I had a healthy breakfast and some coffee with my husband. Then, I got up, and got myself ready to go to the gym. I didn't feel cute. I was still under attack. Then, I posted this status in a private group on Facebook:

"For no reason at all, I feel very discouraged today, and I feel like my butt is bigger. I haven't gained any weight, I've been active everyday, and I'm about to leave for training now. I think that when we start being successful in working toward or goals, Satan tries to knock us down because he likes us better when he's in control., and he controls us with shame, defeat, and lies. He needs to leave me alone. Maybe this will help me push harder in training. I'm fighting a lot more than fat." 

Writing helps me put things in perspective. So, I decided I was going to be ticked at Satan, and use that to help me. I'm not sure I did really great, but I did keep reminding myself of my inner battle the whole time. I prayed and asked Jesus to help me and make Satan leave me alone. What is going to help me is listening to my Savior's voice of truth, and refuse to accept the lies of my evil enemy.

Some truth God reminded me of today:

Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

1 Peter 5:8

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

Philippians 4:13

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

So, shut the heck up, Devil. Get out of my head, and get out of my way. Jesus is making a strong mighty woman out of me. He's awesome, and He loves me. You are pitiful.

A Shaky Start, a Special Date, and THE POWERMILL

This morning started with me feeling very shaky and very weak. I had a full day of exercise yesterday, before breastfeeding my baby girl throughout the night. Clearly my diet was insufficient. So, I basically had to eat like a horse before I felt any better: a bowl of plain Greek yogurt with a scoop of protein, blueberries, and walnuts; a liter of water; and a big beautiful omelette with spinach, ham, and mozzarella; and 3 small cups of coffee with heavy whipping cream. Yeah... O_O  I learned my lesson! I have to fuel my body well because it is a calorie burning machine right now between all the working out and breastfeeding!

This afternoon, my sweet 8 year old son took me out on a date. We went to the store where he bought me my own baby doll. Then, we went to Pizza Hut where he used his Book It certificate. It was a very sweet time to focus on him.

This evening, I hit the gym, and got acquainted with the "Powermill" aka The Stair Climber.  It's a pretty cool machine, and it gets challenging pretty quickly. My trainer told me to go for 30 minutes and go between levels 1 and 4. I did it, and I stayed between level 3 and 4. I was very sweaty, and when I got home, my family was sitting at the table, and the kids said, "Mom, your face is so red!"

The Powermill is no joke, but I think I love it.  

Such a Good Day

Day 3 was awesome. I'm getting stronger, and I love it!! Who knew this girl right here could get strong?! I had to stay home yesterday because Matt was on call, then working all day. So, I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred Workout 1, and I did a good job. It was so much better after going to the gym a few times this past week. This morning was day 3 of training, and look who came with me! Matt joined us today, and it was really fun. We got to sling around some big heavy ropes, slam medicine balls on the floor, toss bigger medicine balls up on the wall between squats, push and pull a sled thing, and do some push ups/planks on a box, and every time we faced the mirror, I looked at my reflection with grace and respect. 

Matt smiled and said, "I've never seen you so active." Welcome to the new me, honey!

Tomorrow afternoon, I will go to the gym and do 30 minutes on the stair climber. Tuesday is day 4 of training, and I get my meal plan and full workout plan!! I'm so excited! So far, this is proving to be a very worthy investment.

Now, what do you want to do, but you think you can't? Look at me! If I can do this, you can do that thing you want to do. I believe in you! Go do it, and maybe tell me about it in the comments. Let's encourage each other!

No More Looking Down.

My second day of training went so much better than my first day! I remembered to eat some good protein before I went, and that made a big difference. I've noticed a major issue with myself, though. It's funny how challenging yourself physically reveals so much about you psychologically.

When I'm training, we work in a corner fully lined with mirrors. I hate this. I would rather work with no mirrors, but there they are. I'm surrounded. I know from my daughter's (and now my) dance classes that the mirrors are to help you make sure you have the correct form for the different moves. I don't use the mirrors for that. First, I tried to just turn away, but when my trainer told me to face the mirror, I mostly just look down at my feet.  I am embarrassed to look at myself in the mirror. I feel shame because I don't look how I want to look.

Then, yesterday, I realized how stupid that was. Completely and utterly STUPID.

I'm ashamed to look at my body?? What? My body that has carried 8 lives in the last 13 years? My body that has endured the pain of miscarriage, and the powerful force of childbirth 7 times over? My body that has produced countless gallons of life sustaining milk (aka liquid gold) for my 7 babies? My body that has spent over a decade sleeping with, nurturing, walking, bouncing, changing, wearing, feeding, and caring for my 7 babies? When I think about all that, being ashamed of my body makes about as much sense as a wounded and scarred veteran being ashamed of her body after many years of service.

NO MORE

My body is absolutely amazing and worthy of my respect. I am starting a new chapter of my life where I am choosing to make my physical and emotional health a top priority, but that also needs to include being proud of what I've already accomplished and how my body reveals that.

Every one of my many stretch marks is a testament to every one of my children and the love I have for them. The extra fat stores I have serve my babies well by making all that rich milk for their nutrition. Yes, I want to and need to lose about 30 lbs, and I want to be stronger, but Sarah, don't you dare look down when you're in front of that mirror again. You look yourself in the eye or check your form with the different exercises, and you do it with respect. And when you reach your goals, do not look to your past self with shame. Remember all the amazing feats your body has accomplished to become the beautiful motherly mess that it is, and continue to do new amazing feats to change your body into what you want it to become. You've got this. You've already proven that you are a force to be reckoned with.

NOW LOOK IN THAT MIRROR.

*Every body has a story. Your story will be different than mine, but my body's story is what I need to consider just like your body's story is what you need to consider. 

This is the Year I Take Care of Me.

When I was a little girl, I was the very happiest when I saw my mom take care of herself.  My heart was glowing with joy when Mom came home from a ladies' retreat with her sisters.  All the stories she had to share, the things she brought home, the songs she sang, but the loveliest was the smile on her face.  I loved seeing my mom in a new dress or a new blouse. I thought the bathroom smelled the most beautiful after she took a shower with her pretty soap. I even felt warm fuzzies when I would see her filing and lotioning her feet. When mom thought she was important enough to care for, my world felt right.

As a mom, I see my children wanting to see me happy all the time, and they are happiest when I am happy.  I don't know why most of us choose to deny that it is important to care for ourselves and do what makes us happy.  Up until now, I've only felt justified in taking care of myself while I was pregnant.  Granted, that has been a lot of the time, but that's just not a right mindset.  Even if I was a single woman, it would be important to take care of myself.  That only helps make me stronger and able to care for others better.

So, this year, I am taking a stand.  I am standing up for me, not just for "Matt's wife" or "my kids' Mom", but for me, and the ones I love most will be the ones who are blessed the most because of it. I named this blog "My O2 Mask" because like the stewardess teaches on an airplane, you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you help anyone else with theirs. Otherwise, you will be passed out and unable to help anyone!

This started when I chose to get help for my postpartum depression. That was about a year and a half ago, but a couple months after I started treatment and actually started feeling like myself again, I found out I was pregnant. Happy news, yes! I just had a very hard time emotionally when I stopped taking my medicine. So, after our newest little sweetie was born, I recognized the warning signs and saw my doctor. I plan to stay on my medication until Selah is 2 years old, and I am past the PPD risk window. It helps me a lot.  My head is clearer, and I can look at things more objectively. Stress comes from the outside, not the inside now.

The next thing I did was join a bellydancing class.  This may not sound like a big deal to you, but it's huge for me.  I grew up believing that dancing was sinful unless it was with your husband in private.  I've never even danced at a wedding. I love my class! The ladies are so sweet and gracious to me as the new girl. We encourage and inspire each other. It's wonderful. I am so excited that I am learning to dance and I get to dress up like a gypsy! So fun!!

The latest thing I've done is get a gym membership and a personal trainer.  I was terrified to do this because the gym is really not my scene especially a gym that has guys.  I don't even like playing sports. I was actually shaking when I signed up. But, the thing is, I will never be self motivated to get myself where I want to be. I didn't lose those last 10lbs after Evangeline "Daisy" (#6), and I'm 36 years old now. Also, I don't just want to be skinny again, I want to be strong.  I want to have visible muscle tone.  I've never had that. So, I've gone to the gym and done some cardio a couple times, and my first training session was this past Monday.  Holy cow, I am weak.  To be fair, I forgot to eat, and I had just nursed the baby a lot before I went.  Not the smartest move, but I got through it!  Today is training day #2.  I'm pretty excited, and I've lost 6lbs in a week already! My trainer is putting together a meal plan for me that I can use for the whole family and a home workout plan for when I can't make it to the gym.

So, I'm on my way!! I am very excited to see how my life and my family's life changes with these decisions I'm making.  I started this new blog to share my journey and hopefully encourage others.  I could not do this without my husband's support. He's got my back all the way, and he has always encouraged me to go after my dreams.