It's Not Just About My Body. It's About My Life.

Like a lot of moms, I often feel like I am totally screwing up my kids. I am basically a hot mess. I always have been. The house is a mess. The laundry is insane. We are late at least half the time. I forget things. I have a hard time remembering to put things away. I think about making dinner when it is time to eat it. Really. I even drive myself nuts. However, I am pretty good at talking to my kids, connecting with them, really hearing them and encouraging them to be open with me by earning their trust. I try hard to validate their feelings, and teach them what is right through love and understanding. I encourage my husband to go after his dreams and ambitions. I try to be a good friend. I've learned the hard way to not judge others, but to love them just as they are. But that other stuff that I stink at. . . it really bothers me and makes me feel like a failure all. the. time.

One of my major motivations for working so hard on my fitness goals is to teach myself self control. I am never going to be better at any of those things if I can't even discipline myself with my own body. Everything I eat now is planned. I workout based on a plan. I am reaching my goals, and I'm pushing myself hard. 

You may have heard of Flylady. Flylady encourages you to get your home under control baby step by baby step. The first step is to shine your sink. The reason she emphasizes this so much is to give you something to feel proud of everyday. Even if the whole house is a mess, you can look at your shiny sink, and feel like you've accomplished something. Suddenly, the rest of your housework seems doable. 

I think I am my own shiny sink. I want to bring my body under control so I can prove to myself that I can be disciplined. I can work hard. I can stick with it. I can reach my goals. I can be strong in my body and in my spirit. When that happens, I believe everything else will get better. 

One kind of silly thing that encourages me is this: I made this side by side picture of Mrs. Incredible and Wonder Woman. I jokingly say that I found my "before and after training pictures". The thing is: They're both superheroes. It reminds me to be proud of who I am while I push myself to be more. That is much easier said than done, but I think we all need it. How can we decide we're worth fighting for if we see ourselves as weak and worthless? Find your strengths. Praise God for those strengths, and work to develop new strengths trusting that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13). There is always hope, and just like I am getting stronger in my body, I have to believe that I will get stronger in managing my life.