This is the Year I Take Care of Me.

When I was a little girl, I was the very happiest when I saw my mom take care of herself.  My heart was glowing with joy when Mom came home from a ladies' retreat with her sisters.  All the stories she had to share, the things she brought home, the songs she sang, but the loveliest was the smile on her face.  I loved seeing my mom in a new dress or a new blouse. I thought the bathroom smelled the most beautiful after she took a shower with her pretty soap. I even felt warm fuzzies when I would see her filing and lotioning her feet. When mom thought she was important enough to care for, my world felt right.

As a mom, I see my children wanting to see me happy all the time, and they are happiest when I am happy.  I don't know why most of us choose to deny that it is important to care for ourselves and do what makes us happy.  Up until now, I've only felt justified in taking care of myself while I was pregnant.  Granted, that has been a lot of the time, but that's just not a right mindset.  Even if I was a single woman, it would be important to take care of myself.  That only helps make me stronger and able to care for others better.

So, this year, I am taking a stand.  I am standing up for me, not just for "Matt's wife" or "my kids' Mom", but for me, and the ones I love most will be the ones who are blessed the most because of it. I named this blog "My O2 Mask" because like the stewardess teaches on an airplane, you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you help anyone else with theirs. Otherwise, you will be passed out and unable to help anyone!

This started when I chose to get help for my postpartum depression. That was about a year and a half ago, but a couple months after I started treatment and actually started feeling like myself again, I found out I was pregnant. Happy news, yes! I just had a very hard time emotionally when I stopped taking my medicine. So, after our newest little sweetie was born, I recognized the warning signs and saw my doctor. I plan to stay on my medication until Selah is 2 years old, and I am past the PPD risk window. It helps me a lot.  My head is clearer, and I can look at things more objectively. Stress comes from the outside, not the inside now.

The next thing I did was join a bellydancing class.  This may not sound like a big deal to you, but it's huge for me.  I grew up believing that dancing was sinful unless it was with your husband in private.  I've never even danced at a wedding. I love my class! The ladies are so sweet and gracious to me as the new girl. We encourage and inspire each other. It's wonderful. I am so excited that I am learning to dance and I get to dress up like a gypsy! So fun!!

The latest thing I've done is get a gym membership and a personal trainer.  I was terrified to do this because the gym is really not my scene especially a gym that has guys.  I don't even like playing sports. I was actually shaking when I signed up. But, the thing is, I will never be self motivated to get myself where I want to be. I didn't lose those last 10lbs after Evangeline "Daisy" (#6), and I'm 36 years old now. Also, I don't just want to be skinny again, I want to be strong.  I want to have visible muscle tone.  I've never had that. So, I've gone to the gym and done some cardio a couple times, and my first training session was this past Monday.  Holy cow, I am weak.  To be fair, I forgot to eat, and I had just nursed the baby a lot before I went.  Not the smartest move, but I got through it!  Today is training day #2.  I'm pretty excited, and I've lost 6lbs in a week already! My trainer is putting together a meal plan for me that I can use for the whole family and a home workout plan for when I can't make it to the gym.

So, I'm on my way!! I am very excited to see how my life and my family's life changes with these decisions I'm making.  I started this new blog to share my journey and hopefully encourage others.  I could not do this without my husband's support. He's got my back all the way, and he has always encouraged me to go after my dreams.